Archive for the ‘Personal’ Category

I’d Kill To Be Able To Eat A Hot Wing Right Now

January 30, 2009

I never get sick enough that I need to call out from work, but this week has been more time at home rather than in the office. And it’s not nearly as fun as it was when I was in high school and my mom would baby me back to full health.

Being a genuinely horrible adult, I have no doctor of any kind in NYC. I’ve lived here almost 2 years now, and I’ve not even bothered checking what my insurance offers me, never mind setting up an appointment for a general health physician. For all I know, the coverage offered me is comprised of hugs and travel sized bottles of Advil, partnered with a monstrous co-pay. Why? Because I’m a horrible, horrible adult.

So Monday night I went on to WebMD and input my symptoms. After they told me through several caution notices that I should go and seek emergency medical attention, they told me my diagnosis…


So according to WebMD, I have either strep throat, thyroid cancer, the scarlet fever [?] or a cold. I guess it’s always nice to have options.

Also, can we take a moment and notice that one of the possible symptoms is “Involuntary head turning or twisting”?!


That’s fucked up.

So after things started to get worse, I finally decided to find a doctor and perhaps pay a visit. Which I did. And lo, I have strep throat. Which was, surprise surprise, a delight to hear, because for days I was concerned Lucifer had taken up residence in my body and was going to force me to spew all the soup I’d been eating all over my room, right after giving me a wicked sore throat and a case of the grumpies.

I’m on antibiotics now, 3rd day of 5 of the infamous Z-Pack. And I still feel like shit. My goal is to get better by Sunday so I can swallow solid foods and attend my friend Andrea’s Superbowl party, which is one of the pinnacles of my culinary calendar. And if I can’t make that, most likely I’ll be in my bedroom with my head involuntarily turning and twisting. Kick ass.

Office Tales

January 16, 2009

The office manager sent us another email. It’s always helpful to learn about sad news through stories and fairy tales, rather than confronting the harsh reality of the situation head on.


Once upon a time there was a proud little elevator named Car #3 that lived in a older B class building in the middle of a great big city.

 Car #3 was proud because he could not only deliver people but also freight.

 Because of this special multi- tasking talent, Car # 3 thought he was better than the mean and kinda foppish pretty boy Car #1 and the sweet but ever so slightly masculine girl Car #2

He had always been strong and knew he could always out preform .

Or so he thought…

One morning Car #3 was  bringing down some rubbish to the Lobby of the older B class building in the middle of the great big city when he started to notice that it was harder and even  harder and then impossible to get up off of the Lobby floor.

Car #3 pushed and  pulled with all of his might but he just couldn’t rise to the occasion.

Something was definitely wrong…

He was sick…

He had burnt out his motor. 



Time Waster Tuesday: Part Deux

July 29, 2008

And if videos with sexually explicit questions answered by explicitly sexual stoners isn’t your fancy, you could send me birthday ecards from

Because I’m 24 today, and am officially in my last year of being part of the MTV demographic. Which means this may be the last year for silly shenanigans blamed whole heartedly towards my youthful indiscretions.

Sigh. Next year I’ll be old. Like, TLC 25-49 year old demographic old. Yikes.