Archive for the ‘Funny’ Category

Bill Hicks

August 27, 2009

Because I have new roommates [moved into a new place, story for later], I’m still getting know what they’re like and the things they love. Recently, one of my roommates, a former comedian, mentioned how he loves this guy, Bill Hicks, and we should all watch him sometime.

Well, long story short [maybe I would go into funny little analogies and what not right now, but because I was sick yesterday, I have about zero patience for putting in a lot of hoo-hah effort] we watched this pretty awesome stand up. If you have about an hour today and like to laugh and be all mirthful and whatevs, watch this and enjoy.

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Best. Present. Ever.

June 10, 2009

I’ve never had as much difficulty shopping for someone as I do when I shop for my father. He never wants anything. Or if he does, he asks for socks or golf balls. But a man only needs so many socks on this planet before he has to look for other uses, like puppetry or…”personal” rags.

You know. I wasn’t even going to that gross, awful place until I wrote this post. I blame you guys.

So to show Dad that I love him more than socks and golf balls, I’m thinking of getting him a kickass, wall-mounted, dead squirrel.

rambofoxsquirrel2

The website says that the taxidermist can “mount any squirrel in just about any position or style” with “vintage items”, which almost sounds like a dare to me. Like he’s positioning himself as the Michelangelo of squirrel carcass posing, and he’s just waiting for his own Sistine Chapel to come along. Because I could totally come up with some crazy themed positions for a dead squirrel that would be like, the artistic challenge of a lifetime for this guy.

But this isn’t about me and my goals. It’s Father’s Day 2K9.

So a golfing squirrel with a little bag and goofy hat and polo shirt would be awesome, right? And you know that the dad who receives a taxidermy themed gift for Father’s Day is going to remember that day for the rest of his life.

So yeah. Welcome to the best gift idea since they came out with greeting cards that have cash holders built into them. Rick’s Custom Squirrels is your new passion.

[link via jceekah]

So Eloquent

June 9, 2009

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Jon Armstrong has been interviewing his dog, Chuck, on various political topics. And I love it.

But what I’m really excited to see are the videos of Chuck caught in compromising situations, like smoking weed or gallivanting around gay bars. Wiggle your way out of that, smooth talker.

WTF Is This?

June 8, 2009

apeman

If anyone wants to caption this slash let me know what the hell is going on, I’d love you forever.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon – Michael Emerson, Part 2 (4/16/09)

April 21, 2009
Work has been ridiculous lately, so I apologize for the lack of posts recently. I’ve actually started calling work “lover” because it makes me feel less guilty about all the time I spend with it. And the unnecessary brutal nights.

That aside, watch this video. I’ve seen like, 4 episodes of Lost, and even I can grasp how freaking awesome this is.

Enjoy!

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Omegle

March 30, 2009

Have you guys heard of Omegle? It’s like what the internet was like back in 1996, when you would go into some America Online chat room and become best friends with someone because their screen name was wicked clever, but the relationship never really went anywhere because you were too afraid of possibly being killed. But you still miss those chats with strangers, right? Because I hope I’m not the only one…

Anyways, these random conversations are blowing my mind, and I’ll most likely be logging on all the time, just so I can have something fun and awesome to post.

omegle1

Saucy Street Walker

March 10, 2009

This past weekend I went up to Stowe for some skiing. On the trip there, a bunch of us stopped in New Haven, CT for some pizza. And can I tell you that I formed so many enemies there? In a matter of 5 minutes in the lobby of a pizzeria, I got hated on.

First, I said that I’d never had New Haven pizza because why would I ever just randomly be there? I’m either in Boston or NYC…never New Haven. And about 8 New Havenians turned around and evil eyed me. Like I told them I took a poop on the statue of the town’s founder or something.

When we were told a party of 10.5 was ahead of us, a lady joked Oh there must be a kid in that group! Then I went on to say that children only count as half a person. In front of about 3 sets of parents and their children. Evil eyes. Again.

So once we were seated, I made a conscious effort to not say anything that would offend or cause riots at the nearby tables. Epic fail, you guys.

This table next to us was comprised of a father and his three kids; two boys, one girl. This man had no control whatsoever over any of his children, and just let them run all bat shit bonkers all over the place. The two boys armed themselves with butter knives and began having sword fights around their table while the dad chatted on the phone. And then there was this.

street-walker

This man had a depressed, under-aged street walker with a fistful of twenties as a  daughter, sadly walking around the restaurant. Probably pondering if what she just did was worth the cash she just got paid. And it’s not like she’s gonna end up seeing any of that cash, anyways.

All the money probably goes to paying for emergency room visits for her little brothers who have superficial scratches all over their bodies from butter knife fights or whatever. But I guess that builds character. Which is good, because hookers with a heart of gold always end up going for more, leading them to a lavish lifestyle and a Richard Gere related romance. Movies taught me that.

I’m sure it will all work out for them in the end. Slash not. Whatever, New Haven hates me, so I can’t be bothered caring too much.

photo via Gillian

This Weekend Will Be Epic

March 5, 2009

I’m going skiing for the weekend in Vermont, starting tonight. Fuck yeah!

fuckyeah2

via Courtney via Internet Therapy

Facilities Manager Makes A Funny

March 3, 2009

Greetings,

Taking a cue from the Fedex commercial and our goal to be ever greener,  our office has instituted Nordic Mondays.

Every Monday from now until Spring heat will not be provided at our offices.

Just kidding… We are working on the heating situation.

Heee-larious.

Okay, Michael Kors

February 20, 2009

fucked-up-kors-wig

I’m fairly certain that if a designer on Project Runway sent a model out dressed like this, you’d call it something like a “God awful futuristic nightmare fashioned out of pillows and a little girl’s stuffed animal”, then send them home crying. Because it looks like the Cheetos cheetah is trying to insert this woman’s head into his anus.

via Jezebel