A few friends and I went out to brunch on Sunday before going to see Twilight. This was the plan. We eat a fulfilling meal at Friend of a Farmer down in Union Square. Really, there are very few things that start the day off in such an awesome way. You all should go check it out for Sunday brunch, but be prepared for a line.
After brunch, we went to the theatre to get in line for the movie. An hour early. Which may sound a little much, but when you factor in that at least 3 of the 5 of us were ready to stiff arm 14 year old girls in order to get a decent seat in the theatre, you’ll appreciate the steps we took to avoid chaos.
After settling into our seats, securing popcorn and freaking the fuck out over a Harry Potter trailer [I hope you people don’t come here for high culture…], the movie began, along with our incessant ridicule of everything thereafter.
This movie was as difficult to watch as it was to read. And I say that in the best way it can be taken. I read all four books, and if more come out, I have no other option but to read them all as well. However, I will hate myself every word of the way. Mostly because they are all just dripping with all this teenage angst that acts as a poison to anyone over the age of 18. Also, there are only so many times you can read about someone’s “smoldering, topaz eyes” before going completely ape shit insane. If I ever get an attack dog, the kill command will be “topaz eyes”.
I think that because I read the book, I was prepared to see the movie for what I actually think it should be viewed as. An awesomely low brow, bottom of the barrel budget, campy-beyond-measure movie. After seeing it just once, I imagined a Rocky Horror Picture Show-esque relation to Twilight evolving, where audience members would scream things at the screen, just in time for the actors to answer in a mildly comic, but always slightly filthy, way.
Honestly, I can’t see how anyone could view the movie any differently. With scenes like Edward shimmering like a body glittered man in the summer sun during Pride Week and Bella staring as if it WASN’T the gayest thing witnessed by a living being in the history of ever, you can’t argue the campy value.
But that’s totally okay. Did I rip apart the movie for the ridiculous dialogue, over-acting [I don’t think anyone can portray a sad emo teen falling in love without me mocking them out or peeing myself laughing] and ridiculous make-up? My ethical beliefs would allow nothing less! However, I loved it for all the same reasons. It’s as if the movie were so horrible, it just completely circled back around to being awesome.
Which is probably why I attended a free screening last night, too. Try not to judge me too harshly.