Archive for January, 2008

State Of The Union

January 29, 2008

In an effort to stay on top of politics and current events, as well as fulfill my new year’s resolution [that’s false, but saying that makes me feel like I’m accomplishing something] I’ll be blogging the State of the Union. Mostly with just my commentary and reactions. But that’s good enough, right?

8:58 – Watching American Gladiator. This is actually super awesomely intense and I think I’m hooked. Which isn’t surprising given how quickly I become hooked to most things. Scrabulous, anyone?

9:04 – I don’t remember any of these in the past, but why does the President get to show up 4 minutes late to his own speech? In what world is this acceptable?

And please, Bill Livingood, don’t announce Bush like it’s something surprising or exciting. Like Mickey Mouse is here and he brought chocolates for everyone.

9:06 – Careful with those man kisses, Bush. You’re not pledging a fraternity here.

9:07 – Question. Don’t these people see him like, every day? Or at least more often than most people. I find these reactions to his arrival to be a bit over the top.

CHRIST his daughter has a big head!

9:09 – I’m enthralled. They are cheering ALL. THE. TIME. He already walked down the aisle. You cheered. His name was said. You cheered. Calm it down, folks.

And thanks for the commentary, NBC. “There is a great deal of energy in the chamber.” Very insightful.

9:13 – Tax relief for which individuals and families? Again, not entirely good at the politics, but I’m pretty sure you heart the ones with the fat wallets, right?

9:14 – OH! And wait! Aren’t we like, $9 trillion in the hole? You started that debt, not me.

9:16 – He is so proud of himself that he can say all this without stumbling. Have you seen his eyebrows go up and down? He’s so blown away by himself.

And stop standing up. Standing ovations mean nothing if you do it every time he breathes in.

9:18 – I wish we would turn the way of Canada and make health care free for ALL Americans rather than making it available to more Americans.

9:22 – Wake up, Kennedy.

Also, there is still something seriously wrong with federal college loans. That needs to be worked on hardcore, please.

9:26 – My roommate is talking to me about Tom Cruise. I missed all of what was said.

9:27 – India is a developing country? Did I miss something somewhere?

9:28 – A lot of his speech has to do with ‘trust’. He keeps saying that we have to ‘trust in ____ to bring us quality ____’. Interesting that he chooses trust as an overall theme for his speech.

Also interesting is the alternative to stem cells. Haven’t heard of this before.

9:31 – Charitable Choice. Isn’t this possibly moving onto a slippery slope? I’m not saying they don’t do a good job, but rather I’m nervous where it could lead. What if Huckabee got elected President?? He would take that shit and run miles with it.

9:33 – Immigration. Doubled border control? All on Mexico, right? Although SURPRISE! He just said we need a way for workers to come over to work here legally! Very interesting. I’m kind of shocked to hear him say that.

9:35 – Here we go. Foreign policy. He just called into memory 9/11, and is saying we have kept the pressure on terrorists. And we’re going to continue to do so? What?

He didn’t even make a connection [yet] between 9/11 and Iraq, or why we’re even IN Iraq. It’s like he just used 9/11 as a tool to get people to cheer, but neglected to say ‘Oh yah, there was no thing in Iraq. Whoopsy daisy’.

9:40 – Iraq, here we go. It makes me uncomfortable that he lauds we ‘captured and killed’ so many people. Yes, terrorists. But still, that seems so cold.

9:45 – Solemn promise to the military…’You will have all you need to protect our nation’.

$9 trillion riiiising…

9:47 – Dick has been standing, sitting, standing, sitting, standing, sitting all night. Take a breather. Just clap.

9:49 – Iraq will be a favorable place in a dangerous area [something to that extent]? Does that mean we’ll be staying in Iraq for a long, long time?

9:51 – Goal by end of year? Democratic Israel and democratic Palestine live side by side in peace.

9:52 – Iran. I knew this would come up. Nuclear intentions? I thought this was already settled. Or is this where Bush said a few weeks ago that his information differed from what was supplied?

If we’re supposed to ‘trust’ in so many different people, why not try to trust the people who investigated Iran and found out that there is no nuclear activity there?

9:55 – He just made it seem like terrorist attacks on our soil are thwarted daily. And that because of what we have done in terms of ‘protecting’ ourselves is working. Apparently the government’s ability to spy on us all ends on February 1st [do I have that right?] and that in order protect ourselves and not fall under attack [which apparently almost always happens] we must extend past the 1st.

9:59 – Good news about increasing funding for veterans. Though I still feel we’re FAR away from how veterans should be treated in this country. Far too many come back disillusioned and more than down on their luck. So I’m glad things are being done on this front.

Aaaand it is done.

It is amazing how he spins so many topics. How so many things he says sound like the RIGHT thing, but then you read up or remember or research how, no that isn’t it. That isn’t how things happened. He talks about ‘We the people’ etc etc and yet, a lot of people are not happy right now with how he is doing things.

And from what he says, we’re staying in Iraq for a long time. That there will be a huge threat to our nation if we don’t have some type of sustained base there.

I wonder if anything like that will actually happen? Seeing as how the democrats are so against the war, and I’m willing to bet that America is ready to bring in Clinton or Obama, both of whom I hope will not support this war, it makes me think if somehow Iraq will continue for a long, long time.

10:11 – President Bush is signing autographs like an American Idol star in a middle school. I need to turn this off.

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Why Don’t You Just Cut Off My Right Hand And Leave Me Be?!

January 28, 2008

Horrible news.

Horrible, terrible, no good news.

About 75% of my time online is spent on Scrabulous, and if this indeed happens, I will be lost in this digital age. Forever. Because if I lose this, I swear to God the very structure of my life will crumble all around me in hail storm of sad, low scoring three letter words.

Is that pathetic?

Probably not as pathetic as my love for this

If You Haven’t Seen Cloverfield, This Might Not Make Sense

January 27, 2008

So I don’t know if you know, but there is a huge amount of viral information out there on Cloverfield. You can see most of it here, as well as some stuff here on Slusho, which has some information, which tells you where the monster came from. I won’t say where, because it ties in to the final scene of the movie [spoiler at the end of the post].

This has me enthralled. J.J. Abrams is pretty much a genius because of how he put together this entire thing. Seeing the movie without the viral info is a completely different experience than it is with it [both still awesome].

So when I read this article, my imagination started to go wild. The monster is coming.

I’m pretty much obsessed with Cloverfield and all this viral stuff.

The final scene depicts two of the characters on Coney Island, videotaping themselves in front of the ocean. If you watch the far right side of the screen, you’ll see something fall into the water. A company in Japan said that it was their satellite that fell. This is what woke the monster, which was at the bottom of the ocean, dormant. Read up on the different viral stuff to learn more.

SERIOUSLY??

January 23, 2008

Because I don’t know if you remember the last president that people wanted to impeach. His name was Bill Clinton and he lied about getting a blow job.

Which, evidently, is DECIDEDLY worse than telling almost 1,000 documented lies about national security and warfare, costing us approximately $488 TRILLION.

Gosh, Bill. I hope you have your life together, because I don’t even know how you live with yourself knowing that this SAINT in the White House is on the same planet as you.

Because They’re So Soft And Pillowy

January 16, 2008

Diane Keaton may or may not be dreaming of enveloping herself in the warm, velvety lips of Diane Sawyer.

Also there’s swearing on Good Morning America. Which pretty much makes it the best morning ever.

Well I’m Shocked

January 10, 2008

Good News / Bad News

Good News: My phone not only arrived in tact, but there were no issues porting my old number and the Verizon guy waived all fees at the store when I went to set it up and move over numbers because I made fun of a difficult customer to her face.

Bad News: I lost my personal bet and now have to call up Wal-Mart and cancel my order on Betsy Sue, whom I had grown attached to and had already started shopping for. Her gun rack would be the envy of all who see it, not to mention the cherry wood backing I picked out for the animal heads I was going to have hung.

Such is life.

So How About That Golden Compass?

January 9, 2008

Yeah yeah, this is a late post. I promised a few weeks ago I’d give my two cents on this, and I’ve been lagging. Well, here it is, you whiners.

I had read all three books of “His Dark Materials” before The Golden Compass had even come out in theatres. This was the first set of books in a long time that I had insisted on reading back to back. Usually, I find myself taking a break from an author, or strictly following my list of books that needed to be read. In this case, I wouldn’t start another book, or even purchase one, until I finished the rest of them.

After finishing the books, I kept asking myself ‘How the hell do they intend on making this a children’s movie??’. These books aren’t in the kid’s or teen sections, you guys. They were on the second floor in the fantasy / science fiction section. Pretty much in the opposite direction of Goosebumps and The Hardy Boys. So after finishing the series, I was curious as to how they intended on turning this incredible story into something for PG eyes.

Now, that being said, everyone who has an issue with this movie or is boycotting the books or is claiming a corruption of our youth, keep this in mind. These books. Are not. Meant. For. Children. The first book of the series is by FAR the tamest. So if you think that they will have a negative effect on your 8 year old, and make them think that God is mean and religion is bad and moral beliefs are evil, you’re right. Just like that gangsta rap CD you bought them for Christmas and the Grand Theft Auto video games for their birthday. And that is no one’s fault but your own, Parent.

I won’t go into what happens in the 2nd and 3rd volumes of the series [mainly because many of you are still reading them and I value my life far too much to be bludgeoned to death by angry readers], but I will say this. The complaints and protests and arguments you hear concerning the book’s hatred for faith, the defiance of Heaven or the killing of God is nonsense. There is no need to spoil the books for those who have yet to pick them up, so I won’t share with you the stories regarding this. However, if you have an argument against these books, please read them, at the very least. There is enough garbage out there on the internet [this site included] without people cluttering it with more unsupported protesting.

All of that hooplah aside [seriously, folks, focus your efforts on something else rather than being upset about a book, like maybe an impeachment?], the movie was great. Armor wearing polar bears, witches with bows and arrows, and talking animals. Combine that with political and cultural commentary and some pretty kick ass CGI fight scenes, and you have a pretty enjoyable night at the movies.

Nothing at all compared to the books, but worth a watch. AGAIN, though, I cannot stress to you enough how great these books were, and how happy you will be once you read all of them because the story is so freaking great you’ll just explode with pleasure all over the place and be upset with yourself that you didn’t lay plastic around you because the pleasure explosion is so great and devastating you’ll wonder if you just attended some weird Gallagher show, but in place of watermelon explosions there are pleasure explosions. And who doesn’t love pleasure explosions?

I’d like to hear some of your impressions of the book, movie or controversy. I find the whole subject fascinating, and at the same time disgusting [arguing about a book that you haven’t read and making claims about its diabolical nature is a pathetic waste of time], but I do really enjoy reading well thought out arguments.

And please. For the KIDDIES. If you’re going to spoil an ending etc, announce it ahead of time.

In the meanwhile, meet my daemon, Aspadora. Find out who your daemon is here!

Bitch Fit

January 9, 2008

Guess who didn’t get their phone today?

So I sent away for a gun. Anyone care to place bets on which arrives first?

All Signs Point To ‘Not Good’

January 8, 2008

I wake up at 2 am and randomly check my email and this is all I have.

To be frank, I’M the one surprised here. Suzanne should go to her OB-GYN perhaps a bit more often. Whatever she has is getting worse.

Pretty Much Everything Is Against Me

January 7, 2008

I will be old and gray and deaf and in no need of a cell phone by the time Verizon gets me the phone I ordered what seems like months ago.

Originally, my new and improved phone from my new and improved provider was supposed to arrive while I was home for the holidays. It got pushed back to last Wednesday because of the huge number of deliveries happening.

And of course, it didn’t come. Because the rep didn’t realize that since my license is from Massachusetts and I live in New York, issues would occur. Which is just dumb to me, because how many college students move away and get a cell phone or change their service? Answer: many.

So after another delay, which involved me sending screen shots of bank statements to prove my address along with my mother’s maiden name [which I don’t know WHY they needed that when she has nothing to do with this transaction at all]. I left my rep my work address so that they could send me my phone there as opposed to my apartment, where I never am. So they sent it to my apartment, which just makes so much sense it hurts my head with its huge, massive logic.

So when the phone inevitably got delivered to my apartment when I was at work, I called FedEx to see if they could resend over the weekend or switch the mailing address to my work one for a Monday delivery. Of course, this should be easy right? The person receiving the package wants to change the address because the person receiving the package will not BE at the address it is being sent to. So voila. Done and done.

But no. The only way to change the address is to have the shipper change it. And there is only one person who can change it in Verizon. One person. In the entire company. A singular person who can change the date. Just one. And they aren’t there.

So now my phone is a week and a half late, and I’m pretty much on the verge of crying on a daily basis, not to mention wanting to take a blunt object to Verizon and FedEx and waving it around all willy nilly.

If I don’t get my phone by Tuesday, I’m going to go all types of foul mouthed crazy.