You Wouldn’t Believe Me If I Didn’t Have The Pictures

A few weekends ago, right when the weather decided to stop acting like a frigid bitch and realize that spring had LONG since arrived, a few friends and I decided to spend the afternoon in Central Park.

The only reason I know for sure I didn’t accidentally take a hit or five of acid before getting to the park is because I have these photos. And even then, I’m worried that I’m just completely insane. Because this doesn’t happen in the normal world.We were sitting relatively close to the park’s entrance, so the people watching was prime. We also managed to secure a nice area near all of these beautiful cherry blossoms. They were definitely gorgeous, but at the same time they are everywhere. So when HORDES of people continuously came and began taking pictures of the exact same cherry blossom from the exact same point of view, we got curious.

A tour guide who was tugging his two tourists along in a carriage attached to his bike had gotten out right in front of us. We asked him what made these trees, and that particular tree, so special.

“It is just AMAZING what happened here!”
“What?”
“Because, friends. Fifteen days ago, there was NOTHING. Nothing was there.”

“AND THEN TWO WEEKS AGO THERE THEY WERE!”

While the beauty of nature is something to behold, I can say with a bit of certainty that trees tend to do that. You know. Bloom and what not.

For the life of me, I still can’t figure out what people were being told about these trees. Because for two hours, people stopped. They stopped jogging, stopping walking their dogs, stopped touring and stood and looked at these trees.
We had pretty much resigned ourselves to the fact that we would never know, aside from aesthetics, what was actually so damn appealing about those damn trees.

Then, Internet. Oh, and then.
Asian women dressed as dinosaurs came.

Really, I don’t think I can be any more descriptive than this. Asian women. Dressed as dinosaurs. Paid homage to the cherry blossoms.

I swear to you there was no film crew. There were no professional photographers. No stunt or joke or prank. Because believe me, I thought this. And I looked. Because the only thing that kept going through my head was What am I, on Punk’d?! Where the fuck is Ashton Kutcher?!

Just. Asian. Dinosaurs.

After taking pictures with the tree, they wondered onto the lawn, between the other cherry blossoms, and down the hill. Not a word was said by any of us during this entire event. We just sat there, watching what would have to be one of the most random things ever happen right in front of us. Because seriously? I would have been less surprised if Bill Gates and the Muppet Babies were playing on a Slip N’ Slide while the Olsen twins watched.

After they left, we all just kind of stared at the trees than back at one another. Finally, after what must have been a whole minute, the silence was broken.

“How embarrassing for them.”
“I know. They showed up wearing the exact same thing. I would die.”

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3 Responses to “You Wouldn’t Believe Me If I Didn’t Have The Pictures”

  1. Vanessa Says:

    Maybe he meant that the trees had magically appeared out of nowhere. 2 weeks ago, there was just grass. Now, beautifully blossoming cherry trees. That would be more interesting.

  2. V-Grrrl Says:

    Moments like this illustrate why you left Boston and moved to NYC.

  3. Annie, The Evil Queen Says:

    Having lived in Japan and New York, I’m completely unsurprised that Asian women came in dinosaur constumes to admire the cherry trees. It’s the joy that is living in those environments. I’m so glad you are getting the full NYC experience.

    And your final two lines? Hysterical.

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