One Year Out

The other weekend I headed up to Syracuse for the 2007 graduation. I felt like I was a poorly written character in a made for TV movie.

During the past year, it became very easy to lose touch with those who are still in school. Life in college is just as hectic and demanding as life in the real world. The only difference being that the two share virtually nothing in common except for that one defining detail.

This is what makes it so hard to stay in touch. Sure, there are the phone calls every so often and the messages on Facebook. But it is nowhere near the same as being at school.

One year out, I’m still struggling with a very simple concept. I don’t live 10 minutes away from the 20 people I call ‘friend’ anymore. I can’t stop by a friend’s house at 3 in the afternoon and expect to see them sitting on their porch. I can’t skip part of my day in order to take a trip to Wegman’s to do nothing but look around. I don’t even have the option to clear away a random night to catch up, because those people aren’t down the street, waiting for me to arrive.

In the beginning, walking through the quad and seeing the old sites was comforting, like finding an old blanket that you had as a kid. All these memories come flooding back to me, and at that second, I was in college again. I walked by where I had my classes and where I had my lunch. I visited the student center and Chuck’s [my favorite bar]. And I met up with friends. Graduated. Graduating. Underclassmen.

Then it hit me. These memories that crowded me became just that. Memories. I felt out of place. Like I had just walked into my middle school and sat down in Mrs. Hey’s English class. Everything was so familiar but still so out of place.

The best four years of my life were spent at Syracuse. I met some of the most fantastic people, had some of the most amazing experiences and learned some of the most vital lessons during my matriculation, and at the same time I couldn’t wait to be out of there. Forgive the extreme analogy, but it was as if I was seeing all these ghosts, and it hurt that I couldn’t interact with them. There were a lot of friends in those memories around campus. And it is with a heavy heart that I think of the fraction of that number I am in touch with now.

One year out. I’m living in New York City with a great job, friends in the area and a literal endless supply of memories to be made in the coming years. But I can’t help but wish I was able to wake up for just one day and have the opportunity to do all the things I bitched about for four years just one more time. With all the other characters played by the same people, the set unchanged and a plot line as plain as day.

How about you?

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One Response to “One Year Out”

  1. V-Grrrl Says:

    There’s not any part of my past I want to re-visit. I’m either a Zen like goddess or a psychopathic freak.

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