My Body Is Leaking

My insides are fighting a winning battle. If things don’t change very soon, all the fluids within my body will be on the outside, and I will be out of tissue and toilet paper on account of the fact I tried to sop it all up as it exploded out of my nose.

Being sick always forces me into tunnel vision. I cannot remember for the life of me what being healthy was ever like. I only know coughing, sneezing and overall discomfort. It’s like a world where clean, dry nasal passageways never existed, it was just a dream, and now HA HA! it’s back to reality. And in reality, it is totally inappropriate to take your chap stick and rub it all over your red-raw nostrils to relieve the burning pain of blowing it every 20 seconds.

And besides, it doesn’t work. I’ve been inappropriate.

The silver lining in this situation has always been the night time medication. Nyquil has always offered me a quick trip to sleep, followed by exciting, bizarre dreams. And when I would wake up, if I am in the midst of applying for jobs, I would get a call for an interview. Nyquil is truly a miracle drug.

I didn’t buy Nyquil this time around. I bought Tylenol Cold Multi-Symptom Nighttime medication. And the only thing that got me was paranoid, hallucinatory and a dream in which I came forward as the real father of Anna Nicole’s baby. And no job interviews. So I think we’ve discovered the better of the medications.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m needed on the front lines. A new squadron of mucus and fluid is making it’s way through the ol‘ factory, and I’ve run out of tissues. Wish me luck.

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