A Little Explanation

I’m betting that you’re all wondering what that whole incident was about. Well, some family members [and all their neighbors] stumbled across this blog and weren’t entirely happy with how they were portrayed. Like I said in the apology, I never meant any depiction to be anything more than a satirical look at something different and out of the ordinary. Like when I talk about my own experiences. And thoughts. And pretty much anything that relates to me, because let’s face it, I’ve pretty much established domination over the words absurd and weird.

For a little while I was upset about the whole issue with the family [enough to even remove some posts, as I’ve noticed a lot of you are trying to search for them**…I’ve yet to decide if and when I’ll repost], but now I’m in a different place. Originally it was the ‘shocked and appalled’ place. In the words of my mother, ‘Just to let you know, you’re out of the closet now’.

Which isn’t necessarily a problem for me, really. I don’t care that anybody knows my sexuality. My philosophy is that since it doesn’t matter to me, then it shouldn’t matter to others [unfortunately, that’s not the case in our society, which sometimes forces me to act differently than I would prefer…but that is another story]. No, for me it is more a matter of how the rest of the family [and a small farming town in Maine] found out.

On the list of ways I could have come out to my entire family, telling them about the massive hickey I got while illegally intoxicated the week before my mother and brother visited for Easter is hardly on the top ten list. I would have preferred being walked in on during a hand party session while watching the strong man competition on ESPN2.

To be honest, I’m not surprised this happened. Since I was a kid, I had adopted an ‘Of course this would happen to me’ mentality. This mind set has helped me survive many a complicated, awkward and embarrassing issue in my lifetime.

Wear clothes to 8th grade that have all the price tags and size stickers still on them, only to be pointed and laughed at all day and not know why? Of course this would happen to me. Lose my cell phone in the pocket of a pair of jeans after I just folded an entire wall of them? Of course this would happen to me. Get hit on by a 6’7″ drag queen named Coco Chanelle, who thinks I have ‘the most beautiful eyes’? Or course this would happen to me.

Possibly being the first person to come out to their family through their blog and a post regarding a hickey christened ‘the storm cloud of promiscuity’? Say it with me, now. OF COURSE THIS WOULD HAPPEN TO ME!

So you see, while the situation itself was a shock for me, my life long mantra has prepared me for anything that comes my way. Besides any initial shock value of whatever is thrown on me, I can still take it in stride.

And hey. If it gets me perks like being the first person to come out to their family [and subsequently, the world, I suppose…though all of you already knew] via blogging a story about the biggest hickey north of the Mason-Dixon line, then I guess it ain’t that bad.

We’re aiming for big things here, people. Big things!

**By the way, family. I’ve this neat little thing called a ‘stat counter’ that tells me whenever you come to my site. It also tells me what you read, how long you stay, and even your IP address and what browser you use to view my URL.

Hi everyone!


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