When You Have Nothing Else To Blog About…

Thanks to a particularly long work day today, I was given a whole 30 minute break to do with as I wished. Oh the glory. Oh, the pure ecstasy.

So I took my Sbarro’s pizza outside to sit by the entrance to the Charles River. Yesterday was one of the nicest days Boston has had in weeks. For as long as I can remember, it has either been raining and storming or humid enough for me to sweat enough water to brew some coffee. Yesterday, though? The best summer day in a long time.

I sat down at one of the various tables surrounding the little inlet of the Charles River and enjoyed the day. I called a few people [and made extra time for those that sent me a homemade birthday gift!], munched on some pizza, and enjoyed the break from retail I so very much deserved.

As I was sitting there, I paid attention to a lot of things. Children running down the water ways. Squirrels running up trunks and across wires. Little birds finding small bits of break and bouncing around the food court benches without a care in the world. I’m telling you, it was one of the most serene moments I’ve experienced in my otherwise hectic and run-around life.

As I walked back inside, though, there was one worry that all the sudden popped into my head and refused to leave. Like a belligerently drunk relative, I couldn’t get it to leave me alone.

I have never seen a squirrel take a shit. Nor, for that matter, have I ever seen squirrel shit.

I am perplexed. I am annoyed. And my soul will suffer the agonies of a thousand hells until I can figure out why this problem is existent.

Help would be very much appreciated. Because I’m not kidding. I’m bothered by the lack of squirrel crap there is in my life.

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9 Responses to “When You Have Nothing Else To Blog About…”

  1. Steve Says:

    Now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve ever seen squirrel poop. I wonder what that means?

  2. treehugger Says:

    HA! your blog kills me, good stuff.
    personally, i’m a wildlife rehabilitator, and i can assure you…squirrels indeed do shit. little teeny pellets of shit. they don’t stop to do so. much like a horse, that shit just happens. like i said, tho, it’s teeny, so you wouldn’t ever notice it. google for squirrle scat images (scat = the technical term for wildlife poop). that should end the mystery…and likely make you sorry you asked!
    hope that helps!
    :)

  3. nicole Says:

    Oh, Steve. Your such a loyal reader for John.

  4. nicole Says:

    *You’re. I’m an idiot. That’s what I get.

  5. Vanessa Says:

    I asked both brothers, neither of them have ever seen a squirrel shit either, so don’t feel bad about it.

  6. Passante Says:

    My god — I thought I was the only one in the world who had pondered this weighty topic (more than once, let me add)! I am glad to find a kindred spirit.

  7. Mary-LUE Says:

    V-girrl linked up your ride on a plane with screaming banshee post. Very Funny. Squirrel waste. Funny again. Shampoo in eyes? Ouch and Funny. What a funny guy you are. Oh, checked out the profile. All Families Are Psychotic is a personal favorite.

  8. V-Grrrl Says:

    In Virginia we had so many squirrels in our yard we used to trap them and relocate them–until we discovered this was a big no-no. Apparently you can shoot squirrels in Virginia, but you can’t find them new woodland homes.

    Despite seeing as many as 10 squirrels at a time from my kitchen window, I never noticed squirrel poop either. Hmmmm. Maybe we should watch Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in slow motion? Maybe THAT’s was Willy’s special ingredient in the chocolate.

  9. Brooke's m-i-l Says:

    I’ve never seen squirrel poop, but we’ve got hedgehogs in our garden, and I’ve sure seen plenty of hedgehog poop!

    I know how very much you wanted to know that!

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