Archive for April, 2006

I Woke Up Parched

April 28, 2006

I’m not going to try at a pathetic attempt at sobriety and write some meaningful and hilarious post. That would just be foolish of me.

I’m not going to say I didn’t have a bunch of shots, a few beers and several mixed drinks [this all includes a tequila shot, which I constantly referred to as a quetalia shot, or the fact that I had a Long Island while doing that quetalia shot. My chaser. Was a Long Island. Wow]. I’m not going to pretend that I didn’t drink these drinks in such a quick succession, you’d think I was in fast forward. 8x fast forward.

And I’m not going to say that when I went to the local college bar, Chuck’s, I saw the entire group of Black Eyed Peas, and I didn’t walk by them, say hello, and dance to one of their songs that was played on the stereo. And I’m NOT going to say that I say one of the BEP was a douche for not letting us take pictures of them while they were in MY bar causing a scene. And I certainly won’t say that I went off a bit in a big and drunken way when I found out Fergie wasn’t coming to the bar, but instead staying back at the hotel working on some ‘music’. I won’t say that I loudly proclaimed that to be total bullshit.

And I definitely won’t say that I wrote most of this last night but instead passed out and woke up to see that I had written about 3800 characters of uppercase ‘O’s.

I’m just not going to say any of that.

Very Soon…

April 27, 2006

Tuesday is my last day of school. After that, I just have papers.

But Tuesday is the last day. Ever.

Of school.


Last day. Wow.

And PS, Paige. My first class tomorrow is at 6 pm. And we’re having a party. But thanks for the worries.

I just went to your site for the sole purpose of making your stats say you had a visitor from SU at 4:30 am. So ha.

This List Was Easier Than The Other

April 25, 2006

Seeing as my blogging skills are something to be frowned upon right now, I figured I’d answer a meme-o-gram sent my way and give you another list.

Also. This is my blog. I know I did the weird things list before, but I do what I want, when I want. Wanna fight about it?

Neither do I. Let’s just be friends.

1. I cannot have a Molson without tearing off the label. They’re all so cool and fun. I make it a point to tear off every label I get and give it to someone. I never save them for myself, though. Which I really should, because I bet I could maybe make something super dorky and college like with them.

2. When driving, I enjoy the smell of skunk. Also, gas at a gas station. I don’t know why. I don’t get any type of high or anything out of it. I don’t think the smell is something particularly pleasant or enjoyable. Not enough to be bottled and sold, at least. But for some reason, whenever I smell these smells I just think Mmm that’s nice.

3. I have the biggest tongue you’ll ever see. For real. I don’t know how to prove this without a camera right now, but I think you just need to trust that it is ginormous. At first glance, it’s average size. But then, I’m able to flatten it out to incredible proportions. I just did it right now, and four of my fingers can fit on my tongue. It’s like a fucking plate.

4. I really enjoy the Cartoon Network. Like. A lot. I watch it during the day when Teen Titans, Foster’s Home For Imaginary Friends and Ben 10 is on, and then I watch it at night…[adult swim] rocks my world…for Full Metal Alchemist, Futurama and Inuyasha. Seriously, cartoons are kick ass. I’m a dork, and I’ve come to accept and love it.

5. I look forward to a good bowel movement. Only because I bring my iPod with me and it’s a chance to sit and listen to music.

Sometimes a I pay the potty a visit for up to 20 minutes.

6. I’m naked a lot. Usually in my room. Hopefully. But I love nakedity nude time. Sometimes, if I don’t have to leave my room until later in the day, I’ll just be bare assed. TV? I’m naked. Video games? Nekid. Cleaning? I’m still flapping in the breeze.


How about you…and um, you…and sure, what the fuck…you…let’s see if that shit happens.

If it does, my number 7 weird fact will be how I can make monkeys fly out of my butt while singing Walking On Broken Glass.

I’ve Really Got Nothing To Say

April 24, 2006

Thanks to everyone who donated money to my Relay For Life site!

All in all, I raised $155. That’s because of you guys, so give yourselves a pat on the back!

My team total was $805, so that’s just incredible as well. Syracuse University, as a whole, raised a totall of $82,000, though I think it might be a little more than that. Closer to $90,000, I think.

Anyways, thanks so much for taking the time and donating money. Each and every dollar can make a difference.

In other news, since I’ve slacked this weekend to the point of self destruction, I’m just going to share with you one of the funniest shows ever that I’ve become obsessed with. Surreal Life.

And for this SOLE REASON. Tawny McCrazyslut oops I mean Kitaen is crazy as hell, and she’s out to take on and take down Florence Henderson. Yes. She wants to ruin Mrs. Brady. To see this happen on television was just orgasmic.

Tawny actually had an interview in front of a live audience where she called Carol Brady a pain in the ass, called her mother a liar, and tried to say she slept with one of her TV show sons.

Crazy bitch. You NEVER insult Mama Brady. EVER.

On another note, it’s Courtney’s birthday today! Yes, she’s another year older and another year wiser and is obsessed with Nick Lachey and his new music. I’m sorry, I had to. Things like that need to be screamed from a rooftop.

Happy birthday, Courtney!


One Last Plea

April 22, 2006

Today is the last day to donate [to me, anyways] for Relay For Life.

Just to give you a quick recap…Relay for Life is an all night event where teams go walking around a track, raising money to fight cancer. At least one member of the group walks at all times, meaning that we are walking all night long. All the money donated goes to the American Cancer Society, and we receive none of it. Even thought we are poor, dirty college students.

As of right now, I’m 10 dollars short of my goal. I wanted to raise a measly $100 bucks for this event, and I’ve raised $90 so far[SUPER DUPER thanks to all that have donated…Paige, Brendan, Joe and Ann especially…I’m so thankful for your support…and let’s not forget Annie, who linked specifically to my Relay site…thank you, all of you].

Please. If you could donate just $10 to this wonderful cause, I’d be so thankful to you. This money is extremely important to finding a cure for cancer, and I would be so thankful if you decided to be a part of this wonderful cause.

Open your wallets and open your hearts to finding a cure for this worthy cause. I can’t explain to you how much it would mean to me and everyone else affected by this horrible disease.

Thank you.

Tiffany Said She’d Kidnap This Girl

April 21, 2006

I’m taking the day off today. This week has been stressful enough, and I just don’t feel the creative urge to create something interesting, humorous or noteworthy. So instead, I’ll give you a link.

Click this.

Every time Tiffany sees this, she collapses in fits of laughter. She isn’t able to withstand the preview in it’s entirety. Actually, truth be told, after she saw it for the first time, she watched it again and again in anticipation of one particular scene. So every time she clicked on the link, she would start giggling. Then, as the scene grew closer and closer, she would start to do that quiet laugh, where the person starts to visibly shake all over, but not make a sound.

If you want to know what scene it is, wait until the father talks about how someone called and left a message on the machine about the ‘little miss sunshine’ competition. Every scene involving the little girl after that is what makes Tiff explode in fits of hysterics.

Jeez. I guess this turned into a post after all.

What’s The Going Rate For An Internet Blog Tip?

April 20, 2006

I’d just like to thank everyone for their kind words and support. Really, it means a lot to me.

I was talking to Courtney about the post earlier yesterday, and I said There are some really really honestly loving people out there…

And I fully mean it. You can ask her. She’ll testify.

So thank you. All of you. It really means a lot to me that I have a large group of people out there who are willing to lend their support to me, even if they have never had the chance to meet me.

Also, maybe I owe you all some money, because you’ve all saved me a fortune in therapy bills. A fucking fortune.

Thank you all. So. Much.


April 19, 2006

I met Grace during my sophomore year of high school.

She was beautiful. Not in the stereotypical media way, but in the way that just made you smile. She held this type of personality that made you want to approach her and learn more about her. Grace was the type of woman who made you feel special.

I met her because of Peer Leadership. Peer Leadership was a group formed by two of my most beloved people, John and Linda, to help young people go through their Catholic experience with a person their own age. This group that helped freshmen and sophomores in high school go through their confirmations also aided them in their everyday woes and teenage angst. I met some of my very best friends through this program. And that in itself means the world to me.

Grace was friends with Linda. Linda, John and Grace are in their late 40’s, but still managed to communicate with everyone in the Peer Leadership group. When I look back on my experiences with them, I’m filled with tears. Not because it was sad, but because I received so much love from them. I never thought that I belonged somewhere until I met them.

They loved me for me. No exceptions. No excuses. They loved John. And I can’t ever be more thankful for that.

We went on our first retreat during our junior year. Besides all the high schoolers that went [you had to be an invited member of Peer Leadership to attend], there was John, Linda, Grace and Father Walsh. Faith became part of my life, but not in the let’s go preach to the undesirables kind of way. It was a kind of so How does God fit into your life? However fucked up it may be, I felt loved. Correction. I AM loved.

Grace was abrasive. She was quick to tease, fast to make fun of, and had a smart ass opinion. But at the same time, whenever she spoke, you listened. She had an aura about her. An aura that turned her into someone that you would want to listen to. Someone you would respect. And someone you would look at and have this feeling that she had been granted more knowledge than any and all of use combined.

I remember once she came to a meeting with a present for each and every one of us. She was from Central America, and most of her family still lived there. During a vacation to see her family, she helped make us all these necklaces made of thread. They formed a cross and hung around our necks. When I got mine…I can’t tell you how happy I was. To have someone think about you, when you never EVER asked for that single thought…there’s nothing more special. I have it to this day, hanging up in my room above my bed. I may not be as solidly Catholic as I used to be, but I can still look at that cross and feel a sense of love. Only because she thought of me.

Grace was that type of person. She wasn’t important. What was important was everyone else. She would sacrifice her happiness, her pride and her sense of self. Why? Because she felt that every person alive deserved to feel happiness. She was a selfless, loving caring person. She was the person you met on the street that you would allow to tease you. Because, after all was said and done, you felt special just because she looked at you.

Several years ago, Grace was diagnosed with cancer. She was given only a few years to live. Two, at most. What did she do? She made sure the last years of her life were spent with people that NEEDED her help. People that needed her input and advice and company and love.

The cancer was a serious one. It ravaged her body, and tore her apart from the inside out. She forced her diagnosis into a humiliating submission, fighting on past year one, two three and four. She forced herself to get up and go to work, even though she was now confined to a wheelchair. And despite the fact that her body had moved towards a level of degradation not previously expected, she fought on.

She failed. Grace suffered more than any one person I have ever known. She couldn’t cough. She couldn’t have sudden movements. She couldn’t even laugh. Because even a laugh…a sign of joy and life…would be strong enough to break her bones and cause her pain. There wasn’t a day in the last few years of her life that she wasn’t in excruciating pain. But she was Grace. She believed she would survive. She believed she would live. She believed she would crush the disease that forced her into submission.

At her worst, her body became but a shell. She couldn’t cough without breaking a rib. She couldn’t stand because her body would have given up on her. She couldn’t go out into public, because even the slightest cold would have meant her death.

During the last few years, though, she died. On the inside. Her vibrant personality and her fun loving personality was killed. She waited for death. She couldn’t go outside. She couldn’t talk with friends. She couldn’t live the most simple of lives. The people that she loved…that she would spend every hour of her day with…were forced to stay away from her. What was once just a face mask and friends a few feet away turned into breathing tubes and a few miles. Grace lost her contact with the outside world. She was alone. She was in pain. And she had no hope for recovery.

Grace died five hours ago. She died alone. She wasn’t given the chance to be a mother. She wasn’t given the chance to be a wife. She wasn’t given the chance to pass on all that she had learned in life. All she was given was the chance to be a friend.

I didn’t get the chance to say goodbye to her. I didn’t get the chance to say how beautiful I thought she was. I didn’t get the chance to give her one last hug. I didn’t get the chance to say that, even though I couldn’t see her all the time, or share laughs with her for the past few years, she was always in my thoughts. I didn’t get the chance to say that she made an impact on my life. That she helped form me. That she helped make me who I am.

I didn’t even get a chance to say I love you Grace. Thank you for being my friend.

And now she is gone.

I write this to you in tears. I haven’t cried like this in such a long time, I don’t know exactly how to handle it. While Grace had only a few years time in my life, she had an everlasting effect. I will never forget her, because to forget Grace is to forget that one person that made you smile, laugh, love and feel loved even in the most dark of times. To forget Grace would be to forget what LOVE is all about.

I refuse to forget Grace.

Next weekend, I am walking the Relay for Life. I told you about it before. Then, I chose to walk because I believed that cancer was a horrible disease that should be halted. Such a horrible, painful disease should be stopped in it’s tracks and crushed.

Now, I walk for Grace. I walk for a woman who was denied a life. I walk for a woman who was denied the chance to raise a child. I walk for a woman who took time out of every single day to make someone else smile. I walk for someone who was killed by cancer.

Please. I’m pleading with you, now. Cancer took away someone I loved. Someone who gave themselves to everyone else but themselves. Honor Grace’s memory. Honor a personal friend. Honor a family member. Just please, remember someone in the next two weeks. Donate to Relay for Life.

I walk for Hope. I walk for a Cure. I walk for a Chance.

But now, most of all…I walk for Grace.

Grace Kelly. I love you. I miss you. And I promise that we will soon find a way to end the pain that you suffered with for so long.

I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye.


April 19, 2006

As LeahPeah said, let’s try this shit again tomorrow.

Slash I am SO going to start looking for a new video hosting site. OurMedia can suck it DRY.

Suggestions? Besides YouTube?

Thanks A Lot, You Dumbass Rabbit

April 17, 2006

All I had to do was put some music on the track, add some title screens, and I would have had myself a video for today. But instead, I ended up at the hospital for 7 hours, sitting in a waiting room accompanied by a woman in a wheelchair puking right in front of the bathroom door, another woman wearing blue-skies-with-clouds pajama bottoms and crying to country music, and a man who had what looked like a giant piece of sharp white cheddar cheese growing out from his toe.

Happy Easter!