DAMMIT I LOVE TV!

Because I know you all are worried, I’ll let you know first and foremost what the beeping was.

I was on pager duty this weekend [I’m an RA] and I had gotten a page. Now, I answered the call and did the whole deal, but apparently on these pagers you need to clear a page once you answer a page. Who would have thought.

Okay. On to the subject at hand.

I’m obsessed with almost every channel on TV right now, and I don’t know what to do about it, because I think that if things continue along this path, I may never leave my room ever again. Let me explain.

*TLC has the most BIZARRE programming recently. I was watching TV with Tiffany tonight, and we flipped to The Man Whose Arms Exploded. The man took so many steroids, his arms were 28 inches around. My waist is 33 inches. Just to give you some type of reference point. When this man walked around, it looked like he had two old bald men in a head lock. It was gross.

Then. Oh, there’s a then. THEN his arms collapsed. They got infected, filled with blood and puss and steroids and grossness, and the doctors had to REMOVE part of his BICEP. Ugh it was gross. Don’t do drugs.

*MTV had a documentary on today called Fat Camp. It. Was. Hilarious. It was a really interesting show because they had no narration or subtitles or anything. You just watched these kids go through a month or so of camp, and see what happens. They did do the before and after shots thing, which was cool to see. The main characters looked so much better and happier.

My favorite characters were Diane [though I thought she was a whiney bitch] and Petey [the jackass]. Diane never did ANYTHING. She just complained and cried the whole way through. Though she still stuck it out and lost about 17 pounds by the end of the program. My favorite scene was her sitting all alone in a kayak, with no one else in sight. She’s just sitting there with the oars in her hand, drifting very slowly. Not a single damn person in sight. Then she lets out a screaming Where are we even going?!

Petey was just one of those rich creeps. He thinks he’s God’s gift to all those around him. Including this 13 or 14 year old boy which he took up as a project. This entailed telling him what to say to girls, when to hold their hand, and when to kiss them.

He did this WHILE the kid was sitting WITH the girl. Hilarious.

*Bravo. Project Runway. Enough said.

*TLC again, because last night, after The Man Whose Arms Exploded, they advertised for their night of Sports Disasters, which they touted as being some exciting, hilarious, let’s rejoice in some good old fashioned football fumbles. But oh no. It was the most deadly, violent, horrific display of life threatening riots and accidents I’ve ever seen. It was almost too much to watch the clips then hear the commercials talk about it like it was a new series from Cute Overload.

Which is utterly false. They may have TOLD us those people were okay. I’ve decided that some of them died. Or at least aren’t walking anymore.

*Cartoon Network. Little do you all know that it turns into Fucked Up Network after midnight. In one anime cartoon, 12 men got on top of a roof while people were filming them, and paired up. They then cut their partner’s heads off at the same time. Then, moments later, a man in an office tries to cut his head off with a box cutter. I couldn’t turn it off, I was so intrigued. This was a BEHEADING cartoon.

God I love TV.

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3 Responses to “DAMMIT I LOVE TV!”

  1. Brooke Says:

    All the good stuff is on TLC. I think I watched The Woman With The 200 Pound Tumor on that particular network.

    Can’t get enough of that.

  2. Sandra Dee Says:

    Ooooo. I too enjoyed the Fat Camp show. And I LOVED it when the girls in Diane’s group kept telling her to take a shower and then she never did just to piss them off. Hahaha – EW!!

  3. becca Says:

    TV is one of those horrid things in life. it’s like a fucking train wreck. you just can’t help but watch. but damn, ain’t it great?

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