Two Things Vital To You Continuing Your Day

a. I hope you all have a great New Year’s Eve. I want you all to be drunk, even with or without kids. I feel that I would have grown up a lot more mature and responsible around alcohol if my parents would just have given me a Cape Codder in my bottle. Or better yet, baby shots out of the Robitussin cup. Go one. Get drunk. I won’t tell [though we all know the drunk blog stories to follow will be INCREDIBLE!]

b. I discovered the best signal I get for stolen wireless connection is on the toilet. I woke up this morning, needed to use the bathroom in a very bad way, but wanted to catch up on what I missed with all the blogs. So what do I do but unplug my laptop, pop a squat, and enjoy every minute of my morning on the crapper. Actually, I’m blogging to you via there right now. Hello, readers. I just pooped. Just now. This very second. Hurray!

UPDATE: The only negative aspect to blogging on the toilet would be that one or both of your legs falls asleep, thereby causing one to plummet to the ground after standing up. If this were a public setting, falling off a toilet would have to be the most embarassing thing ever.

ANOTHER UPDATE: I’m drinking Dom Peringnon in Newport, Rhode Island tonight. Let’s get it started.

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3 Responses to “Two Things Vital To You Continuing Your Day”

  1. V-Grrrl Says:

    As soon as this posts, I’m going to wash my hands….

  2. Melanhead Says:

    Thanks for sharing the poop love.
    You will be pleased to know that I got drunk on a Bailey’s, Cosmo, and champagne.

    Happy New Year. Here’s to Class of 2006!

  3. Brooke Says:

    I feel a little bit icky. But happy happy to you.

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