Why Am I Up At 1 am Blogging, When I Have To Wake Up At 5:45 am?! DEDICATION, MUNCH NUGGETS!

Hello all. Just to let you know, I may be dead by the time you read this because, guess what?, working retail the week before Christmas is like taking a hot pitchfork and dry humping the fun end while swimming through a pool of alcohol.

So sorry for the lack of comments on my end etc. But, like I said, it’s crazy. BUT I can let you in on some sweet deals. I work at American Eagle [not that A&F shit…they pay you in nutshells and tell you to wear all their clothes for a bajillion dollars or your ability to love], so they have some sweet deals. Women’s fleece hoodies [$20], women’s underwear [$4], socks [$2] and other shit. Some men’s long sleeved t-shirts [$12] fleece pull overs [$20…that’s for mom, dad, AND brother], boxers [$5] and other fun assorted shit you really want.

I get no commission for this. I’m just trying to fill space for this entry.

To get those comments going, I’ll pose to you a question. You can either say whatever the hell you want, or say what the worst present you’ve ever gotten was. Mine? A nice sized box that looked like the new [at the time, the first] X-Box. I was ecstatic. I really got it?! How wonderfully AMAZING!


Wrong, fucker. I opened it up to see a glorious new do-it-yourself filing cabinet. I think the sound of my happiness leaving my body was audible.

And you?


7 Responses to “Why Am I Up At 1 am Blogging, When I Have To Wake Up At 5:45 am?! DEDICATION, MUNCH NUGGETS!”

  1. V-Grrrl Says:

    My husband’s grandmother was notorious for her thoughtless gifts. A few received by yours truly:

    Short, queen size pantyhose (at 5’7″ and 120 lbs. at that time, these were clearly not my size and clearly her extras)

    African-American makeup (have I mentioned I’m a natural redhead and the whitest grrrl around???)

    A spice rack with spices that expired in 1971 (this was in 1984!)

    Empty Dannon yogurt cups (useful for drinking!!!)

    She was not poor or stupid–she was CHEAP. She used to fill out sweepstakes applications all the time and order whatever the vendor was selling, no matter how inappropriate it was (i.e. African American makeup kits). She believed this increased her chances for winning the sweepstakes and the junk she received from places like Fingerhut became “presents.”

    I felt so loved and cherished.

  2. Anonymous Says:

    John –
    I have worked at Walgreens for the last 5 years and love Christmas! Granted, we sell more items than A&E, but making the aisle of gift tags, wrapping papers and bows was so much fun when it took an hour! Haha. I did work and Christmas eve and Christmad Day last yr though so me thankful the mall aint open xmas day.
    -Mel Armstrong

  3. TB Says:

    I’m not much for the god-rock bands like Switchfoot, Jars of Clay, POD what have you.
    My ex-husband gave his mom a list of things to get me for christmas. Apparently he told her to get what he wanted because I ended up with not one, but two Creed CDs on christmas morning. Never mind the fact that I think that Scott Stapp is a fucktard. That may have been the beginning of the end of our marriage.
    Oh, and Hi. I followed your link from Brooke. Happy holidays and I hope you make it through retail hell!

  4. #1 Dancer Says:

    Man… you are colorful this morning! I’m gonna have to steal that pitch fork phrase.
    Worst gift? My MIL swears that I am an 8 year old girl (because that’s what HER 29 year old daughter wears) and ensconces me in Disney-wear every Christmas. I didn’t even like Mickey when I WAS 8. Thank God it’s all fleece though, or it would all go straight to the Good Will pile. Fleece makes everything okay.
    (Can you tell I’m high on either the 100 deg. temperature or the DayQuil??)

  5. untitledhusband Says:

    Funny stuff man – this post has a Steve Stifler feel to it.

    Worst present? A leather jacket my dad got me. I know that’s not a horrible gift,but you have to understand that if Mr. Rogers wore a leather jacket, it would have been that jacket. And, I thought it was a CD player, so I had to fake the excitement.

  6. Amanda Says:

    In high school one of my dad’s family friends (to make a long story short, they live in the same neighborhood that I grew up on the weekends and summers until I was in middle school, and the husband works with my dad and has for 26 years [ok that wasn’t too short]), the wife got me and my sister one of those footie pajamas FOR ADULTS. Yes. They still make them at some shit store like Fred’s or Rose’s [both Southern, you might not know them]. Mine were blue, hers were pink.

    Mind you, we’re both around 13, 16.

    Straight to Goodwill.

  7. Brooke's M-I-L Says:

    One year when I was a little kid I asked for a spinning wheel. (Yeah, OK I was a weird kid, alright?) My mother was very hard up, and she obviously thought she was being really clever and inventive, so I got a (second hand – but I did say we were hard up) scooter.

    Spinning. Wheel. Geddit?

    One NOT very impressed kid. (I was an ungrateful little wretch then. Some thing never change! Gimme WHAT I WANT! NO SUBS! >>-O )

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