Time Waster Tuesday – Your #1 Song

So Time Waster Tuesday has been absent for awhile now. But for reals, you guys, we’re in the midst of a depression. You don’t have the TIME to be wasting if you want to keep that paycheck and job! That is super not responsible, and I don’t want to help you feed that bad habit.

That being said, go spend time on this site. All you do is tell it a month, day and year and you can find out what the #1 song on Billboard was the day you were born! Because of your time wasting disease, you’ll probably be asking everyone you know what their birthdays are so you can let them know how awesome / embarrassing / kick ass their song was the day they were born. Here is mine. I’m not sure what to make of this.

So, you know how this morning you woke up feeling all something is missing in my life, I have a hole in my soul and need to fill it? but nothing, not even a bagel or donut or muffin or even hash brown from McDonald’s, filled it? Even though that hash brown was, for lack of a better descriptor, THE BOMB.

Well, this won’t aptly fill your hole either, but it’s better than nothing!*

 

*I crack myself up.

Time Waster Tuesday – The Hood Internet

I found out about The Hood Internet through one of kottke’s links last week, and I’ve been aggressively consuming everything on the site since. I can’t get enough of the shit they put out!

The Hood Internet creates some of the best mashups I’ve heard in the history of ever. The Chicago based duo, comprised of ABX and STV SLV [Aaron Brink and Steve Reidell, respectively], specialize in combining hip-hop and indie rock in order to aurally get you off. They succeed pretty much all of the time.

With several CDs available for download on their site, you’ll definitely find at least a few songs that will pique your curiosity. And once you begin the obsession, you’ll feel easy about the ridiculous downloading you’ll be doing knowing that it’s all gratis. Each CD varies in length, but we’re talking up to 70 continuous minutes of free music per CD, which means that your next party will be fully DJ’d and your friends will think you’re some sort of musical wizarding genius.

The Mixtape Vol. 3

And if you don’t want to download 100MB of data in order to get those two songs that you just gotta have, you can download tons of the songs by single, too. So they’ve pretty much got you covered on all bases. Meaning there really is no reason you shouldn’t be rocking out to this every morning on your commute.

And, if after ALL that, you still need convincing, just click play on one of these songs. Don’t complain to me when co-workers begin to wince over your awkward desk dancing, though…

I’m A Flirt (Shoreline) by R. Kelly vs Broken Social Scene

Shut Up, American Boy by Estelle vs The Ting Tings

EDITOR’S NOTE: For whatever reason, Shut Up, American Boy won’t play. The link is live and working, so you can click here to listen to it. Sorry!

Time Waster Tuesday – Your Finances

Having finally semi-sort of admitted to growing up, I figured it was time to take my finances a bit more seriously. Here’s a quick list of what this will entail…

• Treating my paycheck like I should, and not pretending I’m in college and don’t have rent to pay
• Putting money into a savings account
• Consider an IRA
• Sign up for direct deposit, rather than an actual check
• Doing that budget nonsense
• Not being an overall jackass with money

Yeah. Thus far, I’ve been pretty horrible with the money thing. Like, “John has 73 bucks until the next paycheck, let’s hope canned soup will do till next Thursday” horrible.

So, in an effort to be a bit more responsible, I’ve begun working with a budgeting system to help limit my spending. And holy hell, is it ever depressing.

Mint.com

I heard about Mint from a co-worker, and decided recently that this would be a positive step in my self-improvement. Here’s how it works. You upload your financial data [bank accounts, credit cards etc] to the site, and begin tagging transactions just like you would a blog post. Mint then takes everything you have, and breaks it out into an easy to use pie chart depicting how much money you spent in the past month on entertainment, bars, bills etc. Mint is a secure site, so when you log on, you’re promised the same type of security you get on your personal online banking site. So basically, no worries on any identity theft or what not. Who’d want to assume my broke-ass identity is beyond me, but I’m sure some of you have fiscally enviable lives, so rest assured.

Pie Chart Example

Here’s where the time waster will come in. Mint has so much shit you can do to save money, budget your life and tighten your wallet, you’ll become obsessed. Every little thing you do gets plugged into its internal calculator. After which, you can go in and change transactions from an unknown status to, say, “Travel”, so you’re more accurate when it comes time to evaluate your spending.

Then, after reviewing your spending history, you can give yourself monthly budgets. So if you tend to dish out about $200 a month in dining out, you can lower that to maybe $150. Mint will then email you when you’re getting close to your limit, just to make sure you won’t go over. They’ll also give you advice on better credit cards, the best way to pay off student loans, save for retirement and more.

I spent about 2 hours on the site last night, organizing transactions, setting budgets and checking out different tools on the site. Though honestly, about an hour of that time was spent sobbing over what a reckless money monkey I am, but that’s neither here nor there. The important thing is that with this site, you’ll be wasting your time on something that can very feasibly help you in the long run.

Head on over to Mint and sign up, and make sure to check out their blog here.

Time Waster Tuesday – Sara Benincasa

I talked about Sara Benincasa in another post, but just in passing, so this shouldn’t be considered a cop-out.

Rather, I should spend an entire post just talking about how she’s pretty much the Jean Claude Van Damme of the 21st century, if JCVD were less about the drug and female abuse and rather concentrated more on his pithy one-liners and topical humor. It’s true.

As far as I can tell, Sara B. was the first person to do Sarah Palin impressions. But rather than the widely known Tina Fey stuff, Sara B. plays Sarah P. in a much more honest, behind the scenes, face-to-face way. By vlogging. And talking about helicopter moose hunting. Because it really isn’t too far of a stretch to think of Sarah P. discussing the best way to take down a 10 point from a chopper over a few brewski’s with some buds back at the Elk lodge.

When I say you could waste well over an hour watching the videos she puts up and enjoy every second, I’m not lying. And I’m not even gonna try to guess how long you’ll stay on her blog.

IHATEFUCKINGPOLARBEARS!

Couple Sarah P. with her fictional cousin/personal stylist/La Leche liason, Dina Heath-Barr [played by Sara B.'s friend, Diana Saez], and you really have what is possibly one of the best web series out there. No joke. Regardless of what happens this November [every time you vote Republican, baby Jesus swallows a lego], I hope they continue filming these videos. Because otherwise, youtube will just go back to being the cess pit of cat hijinks and falling fat people it was before. Which isn’t bad…I’m just sayin’.

You can check out episodes 1-16 on Sara’s youtube channel here and her blog here.

You can check out all new episodes on 23/6’s youtube channel.

You can check out Diana Saez’s blog here.

And that should pretty much keep you busy pretty much all day. This here is like, 5 Tuesday’s worth of content all in one. All for you.

You’re obsessed with me, I know.

*Not so secretly, I friended Sara and Diana on Facebook, and I’m totally just one degree of Kevin Bacon away from each of them. Which makes stalking so much easier than I had planned, because I still don’t know where exactly they live, and binoculars cost a lot of money.

Time Waster Tuesday – Television

Never ever in a million years and a million languages could I find the time or words to express to you how excited I am about TV starting back up. Starting this week, I fully intend on putting my DVR into overdrive and my social life into hibernation. I gots me shows to watch. Here is where I’ll be until summer ‘09 begins. The premiere date is listed in the (parentheses).

Monday

• Chuck on NBC from 8 – 9 (Sept 29). If you haven’t been watching this show, you really ought to start playing like a champion, because Chuck is great. And Zachary Levi is pretty dreamy. He’s like Jim Halpert 2.0, so how can you say no to that?
• How I Met Your Mother on CBS from 8:30 – 9 (Sept 22). All of your friends are watching this, and they just aren’t telling you. How does it feel to be left out, hmm?
• Heroes on NBC from 9 – 10 (Sept 22). I will be totally honest with you, last season was a little bit lameface. However, I totally have faith it will come back being ridiculously awesome, just like season 1.

Tuesday

• Fringe on on Fox from 9 – 10 (Already premiered). I’m totally giving this show a chance. JJ Abrams + Pacey Witter = OMG STFU. That will be the only time you see either one of those acronyms ever leave my mind and enter the written word [or spoken, for that matter]. If it fails, my Tuesday will be ruined.
• Reaper on the CW. I heard this is coming back April 22nd, and if so, I’m excited for it’s return. This show was funny and makes me laugh unexpectedly throughout the whole episode. If you hear any other news about this, let me know.

Wednesday

• Knight Rider on NBC from 8 – 9 (Sept 24). HAHAHA!!!! Just foolin’ with ya.
• Pushing Daisies on ABC from 8 – 9 (Oct 1). Nicole says that my only option is to just love this show. So I’ll give it a shot.
• South Park on Comedy Central from 10 – 10:30 (Oct 8). Can you imagine they’ll do with Sarah Palin?? Oh man, I’m excited.
• Real World / Road Rules Challenge on MTV from 10 – 11 (Already premiered). I know this is trashy, but if I don’t get my fill of pretty rich white kids fighting about money while drinking and running through a ropes course, I’ll seizure and die.

Thursday

• My Name Is Earl on NBC from 8 – 8:30 (Sept 25). Whenever I happen to catch this show, I love it, but whenever someone asks me if I’m a fan, I say no. I’m tired of telling lies. Add it to the list!
• Ugly Betty on ABC from 8 – 9 (Sept 25). Is it too late to start watching this? Or, more precisely, is it too shallow for me to start watching it because Lindsay Lohan is guest starring? Let me know, thanks.
• The Office on NBC from 9 – 9:30 (Sept 25). Chuck may look like Jim Halpert 2.0, but version 1 will always have a place in my heart. Not to mention I cry because I laugh so hard. If you aren’t watching this show, your life decisions should be re-evaluated.
• 30 Rock on NBC from 9:30 – 10 (Oct 30). Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Tracey Morgan, Jane Krakowski, Jack McBrayer. I’d do them.
• It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia on FX from 10 – 10:30 (Sept 18). This has become one of the most consistently well written and superbly acted shows out there. I called it Friends on acid and deprived of morals, and you should be recording it.

Friday

• Drinking or sleeping, whichever will be immediately the most beneficial to me after watching all of this.

Saturday

• See Friday, also;
  
• Hulk Hogan’s Championship Wrestling on CMT from 8 – 9 (Oct 18). Look me in the eye and tell me you won’t let the remote wonder on over to this. You can’t because you love it and you’re sick just like me.
• SNL on NBC from 11:30 – 1pm (Already premiered). I will supply Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Kristin Wig love children. And then bed Jason Sudeikis.

Sunday

• The Amazing Race on CBS from 8 – 9 (Sept 28). Someday I’ll be on this show. Until then, I’ll just continue withering away watching it.

And that’s it. Sure, there are a few others I’ll watch, like The Simpsons or Family Guy, but only if my eyes don’t dry out and turn into raisins. And if I had a super cable package that including the big guys, like HBO or Showtime, you can bet I’d be tuning into about seventy other shows. Like True Blood, Little Britain, Dexter, Californication, Weeds, Entourage, and who knows what else.

Though I guess I should be happy I don’t get those channels. My schedule is pretty hectic enough as it is.

*I was so gonna hyper link every single one of these shows so you could read more about them, until I realized that there are like, 25 different ones up there. So I thought ‘Fuck it, they have Google’. And that’s what happened.

Time Waster Tuesday – Researching Sarah Palin

Whether you want to waste time on it or not, the new time waster of the week is totally Sarah Palin. It’s like you can’t go to the internet about anything nowadays without it yapping in your face about Sarah Palin. Ask Internet about foreign policy, and Internet gabs about a video of Palin shooting guns in Kuwait. Tell Internet you’re interested in some celebrity baby gossip, and BAM, there’s Sarah Palin breast feeding what may or may not be her daughter’s baby.

Internet just won’t shut up about her. If this were the biblical era, and trackbacks were the equivalent to locusts, we would be in full fledged plague mode right now.

This, though, is by far the best thing I’ve seen about Palin. I stumbled across this on Buzzfeed and have pretty much dedicated the last 40 minutes of my life to clicking the reply button on each of the these three videos.

These videos made me realize how much Sarah Palin resembles Frances McDormand, aka Police Chief Marge Gunderson. Isn’t it weird how the states that no one cares about always somehow roll into one another?
Check out other vlogs by Gov. Sarah Palin at Que Sera Sera. And other news about Sarah Palin can be found on every corner of the world wide web. Whether you like it or not.

Time Waster Tuesday – Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

If you have about 42 minutes to spare today, I have a fairly awesome suggestion for how to spend it.

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.

Joss Whedon [executive producer and writer of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer fame] teamed up with his family to produce, write and direct an online musical. This musical, comprised of three acts, tells the story of a super villian who falls in love with the girl who shares his laundry schedule and later falls in love with his arch nemesis.

I can see you guys rolling your eyes and beginning to point your browsers elsewhere. So before you act all Judgey McJudgerson, just listen. The musical comes from Joss Whedon, who is amazing in so many different ways. Also, do you NOT remember the Buffy episode, Once More, With Feeling?? Because everytime someone watches that episode, baby Jesus laughs.

And if that doesn’t sway you, pay attention to the talented cast. Felicia Day [Buffy: The Vampire Slayer], Simon Helberg [MadTV, The Big Bang Theory], Nathan Fillion [Firefly, Desperate Housewives] and Neil Patrick Harris [all things awesome]. Yes, you read correctly. And he sings.

The musical is funny and awesome and is 45 minutes and you can watch it at your desk. So you really have no excuses. And you know what, I’ll even embed it for you right here. Enjoy!

Head on over to the Dr. Horrible site to sign up for news [rumored sequel!], t-shirts and other items, or to watch it in a bigger format.

Head over to iTunes to download the songs or video. Doing this will automatically subscribe you to future installments.

And if you need more musical incredibleness, head over to Amazon to buy the “Once More, With Feeling” album.

Time Waster Tuesday – The Olympics

The Olympics!

Chinese Drummers

Chinese Artists

Wire Dancers
(more Opening Ceremony images at Boston.com)

It’s fucking Cirque du Soleil and Harry Potter, you guys. All up in your face.

I’m freaking out on a daily basis. Things that I would never, EVER, in my normal life go hysterical over is now happening more often than I can handle. It’s like I’m going through some sort of heterosexual athletic-centric menopause, and my body and mind are just going crazy trying absorb as many events as possible.

With the amount of events, and the seemingly endless coverage coupled with the time difference, I get the feeling random events are happening every single hour of the day. Like, right now, people are fencing on horses while doing releases on the uneven bars. It’s crazy.

But because there is so much going on, it’s hard to keep up. For me, anyways. So that’s why you can waste your time with this!

Olympic Medal winners at NBC Olympics.com!

Or this!

2008 Olympics Video Coverage at NBC Olympics.com!

You can install these widgets [and others!] on every single social community, blog and desktop in your area. So you can now sit back and just refresh your page over and over again until you find out who wins that ribbon dancer event. I know it’s top of mind for me.

Seriously, it is. I can’t wait for that shit.

Time Waster Tuesday: Part Deux

And if videos with sexually explicit questions answered by explicitly sexual stoners isn’t your fancy, you could send me birthday ecards from SomeEcards.com

Because I’m 24 today, and am officially in my last year of being part of the MTV demographic. Which means this may be the last year for silly shenanigans blamed whole heartedly towards my youthful indiscretions.

Sigh. Next year I’ll be old. Like, TLC 25-49 year old demographic old. Yikes.

Time Waster Tuesday – Pot Psychology

I have these moments all of the time. Where I see someone do something and I just scream at myself for not having thought of it first. This goes for tons of things, most of which are in subjects and categories I have no talent in whatsoever. The number of times I’ve said to myself “GOD John! Why the hell didn’t YOU write that song??”

To which I answer myself that not only do I not play any instruments, but when I sing, angels lose their wings and fall, burning to the earth.

But there are a few things that I come across and just KICK myself for not having thought of this idea sooner.

Enter Pot Psychology. So besides being obsessed with Tracie and Rich, the two hosts, I am eternally envious of their job.

Interkids, they give advice while high.

That is their job. They receive questions from viewers, they get stoned, and then they answer said questions. This, right here, is the formula that many have followed, but none have bothered to film and execute in such a riotously funny way.

They update with a new video every week on Friday at 4:20pm, and every Friday I secretly count down the hours and minutes until the video is posted. And then I laugh and annoy all my friends and co-workers by sending out the link and saying “Hahahahahaha! Have you heard of pot psych before??? You neeeed to watch this!”

And then all my friends and co-workers collectively roll their eyes and possibly cuss my name because, yes, they have heard of this series of videos. They have seen it. In fact, they saw it the last time it was posted to the internet. Which, very coincedently, was the last time I harrassed them with links and quotes from the video.

Go watch all of the videos asap. This should be a nice Tuesday filler for all you interkids.