Time Waster Tuesday – Television

Never ever in a million years and a million languages could I find the time or words to express to you how excited I am about TV starting back up. Starting this week, I fully intend on putting my DVR into overdrive and my social life into hibernation. I gots me shows to watch. Here is where I’ll be until summer ‘09 begins. The premiere date is listed in the (parentheses).

Monday

• Chuck on NBC from 8 – 9 (Sept 29). If you haven’t been watching this show, you really ought to start playing like a champion, because Chuck is great. And Zachary Levi is pretty dreamy. He’s like Jim Halpert 2.0, so how can you say no to that?
• How I Met Your Mother on CBS from 8:30 – 9 (Sept 22). All of your friends are watching this, and they just aren’t telling you. How does it feel to be left out, hmm?
• Heroes on NBC from 9 – 10 (Sept 22). I will be totally honest with you, last season was a little bit lameface. However, I totally have faith it will come back being ridiculously awesome, just like season 1.

Tuesday

• Fringe on on Fox from 9 – 10 (Already premiered). I’m totally giving this show a chance. JJ Abrams + Pacey Witter = OMG STFU. That will be the only time you see either one of those acronyms ever leave my mind and enter the written word [or spoken, for that matter]. If it fails, my Tuesday will be ruined.
• Reaper on the CW. I heard this is coming back April 22nd, and if so, I’m excited for it’s return. This show was funny and makes me laugh unexpectedly throughout the whole episode. If you hear any other news about this, let me know.

Wednesday

• Knight Rider on NBC from 8 – 9 (Sept 24). HAHAHA!!!! Just foolin’ with ya.
• Pushing Daisies on ABC from 8 – 9 (Oct 1). Nicole says that my only option is to just love this show. So I’ll give it a shot.
• South Park on Comedy Central from 10 – 10:30 (Oct 8). Can you imagine they’ll do with Sarah Palin?? Oh man, I’m excited.
• Real World / Road Rules Challenge on MTV from 10 – 11 (Already premiered). I know this is trashy, but if I don’t get my fill of pretty rich white kids fighting about money while drinking and running through a ropes course, I’ll seizure and die.

Thursday

• My Name Is Earl on NBC from 8 – 8:30 (Sept 25). Whenever I happen to catch this show, I love it, but whenever someone asks me if I’m a fan, I say no. I’m tired of telling lies. Add it to the list!
• Ugly Betty on ABC from 8 – 9 (Sept 25). Is it too late to start watching this? Or, more precisely, is it too shallow for me to start watching it because Lindsay Lohan is guest starring? Let me know, thanks.
• The Office on NBC from 9 – 9:30 (Sept 25). Chuck may look like Jim Halpert 2.0, but version 1 will always have a place in my heart. Not to mention I cry because I laugh so hard. If you aren’t watching this show, your life decisions should be re-evaluated.
• 30 Rock on NBC from 9:30 – 10 (Oct 30). Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin, Tracey Morgan, Jane Krakowski, Jack McBrayer. I’d do them.
• It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia on FX from 10 – 10:30 (Sept 18). This has become one of the most consistently well written and superbly acted shows out there. I called it Friends on acid and deprived of morals, and you should be recording it.

Friday

• Drinking or sleeping, whichever will be immediately the most beneficial to me after watching all of this.

Saturday

• See Friday, also;
  
• Hulk Hogan’s Championship Wrestling on CMT from 8 – 9 (Oct 18). Look me in the eye and tell me you won’t let the remote wonder on over to this. You can’t because you love it and you’re sick just like me.
• SNL on NBC from 11:30 – 1pm (Already premiered). I will supply Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and Kristin Wig love children. And then bed Jason Sudeikis.

Sunday

• The Amazing Race on CBS from 8 – 9 (Sept 28). Someday I’ll be on this show. Until then, I’ll just continue withering away watching it.

And that’s it. Sure, there are a few others I’ll watch, like The Simpsons or Family Guy, but only if my eyes don’t dry out and turn into raisins. And if I had a super cable package that including the big guys, like HBO or Showtime, you can bet I’d be tuning into about seventy other shows. Like True Blood, Little Britain, Dexter, Californication, Weeds, Entourage, and who knows what else.

Though I guess I should be happy I don’t get those channels. My schedule is pretty hectic enough as it is.

*I was so gonna hyper link every single one of these shows so you could read more about them, until I realized that there are like, 25 different ones up there. So I thought ‘Fuck it, they have Google’. And that’s what happened.