I Hope I Don’t Tire Of It In 3 Weeks

Pretty much obsessed.

I’ve been listening to Rilo Kiley for a few years now, and a few weeks ago they came out with a new CD. And I may or may not be consistently listening to it on a daily basis.

The best thing about new CDs is how they re-introduce you to previous songs you used to love and over listen to by that same artist. If you like their new song, Silver Lining, check out some of their older stuff, like Does He Love You?, Portions For Foxes, With Arms Outstretched or My Slumbering Heart.

I’m going to go fall asleep to this now.

The VMAs

*Britney. The reason why every celebrity in Vegas looked like they just got asked to do long division was because everything that you did on stage was pretty much the visual representation of a wet fart. Your dedication to your dancing and lip syncing was as impressive as the rest of your comeback is bound to be.

*Will there ever be a day when I’m not wowed by Kanye West and his contributions to my life? Answer: I hope not.

*Is smashing up the stage after a performance still cool? I feel that if I were at a concert and the performers started ripping things off the wall and hitting their guitars against things, I’d say they were being silly and wasteful. I mean, you’re already on stage, where people have more than likely paid to see you. How much more attention do you need?

*I can’t look at Akon without remembering him humping that 14 year old and throwing that kid off a stage. Why do people still take him seriously slash not carry pepper spray when within the same zip code?

*I’m probably completely out of the loop on this one, but I have no idea who the hell Chris Brown is. But you can pretty much win over anyone by having baby hip hop dancers as members of your posse. Give those kids a scholarship.

*I had the opportunity to see Rihanna in a private concert a few weeks ago, and she performed with a full band and a broken foot. And she was great. I only wish she performed for longer, or will come up again.

*I’ve decided Justin Timberlake, Timbaland and I need to be best friends and hang out more often than we currently do. Guys, reach out to me. My email is to the right.

*The transformation from handsome young adult to unnervingly accurate pedophile that Shia has under went is brought to you by the the pre pubescent patches of hair on his upper lip.

*The only notable thing from this point on was the final perform ace. Thank God I had this thing DVR’d because if I had to sit through commercials to watch this awards show, I would be a very upset person.

What happened to the days when innovative performers had even more innovative performances? It seems that great performances aren’t nearly as frequent as they used to be. Or at least seemed to be.

All in all I’m upset I wasted my DVR hours on this show. Step it up MTV!

Can Hardly Concentrate Enough To Write This Title

I for the life of me can’t think of anything to blog about right now. And it’s killing me.

I could talk about how I’ve fallen in love with the Sci Fi original program, Dead Like Me. And how it’s pretty much my new favorite show. And how there is a marathon on right now and DVR is once again proving to be the only thing I’ll ever truly need in this life.

Dead Like Me is about this 18 year old girl who gets killed by a toilet seat falling from the sky, and she is soon appointed to her new job as a Grim Reaper. Their job is to collect the souls of people who die, however it doesn’t pay anything [as it's a public service position] so most Reapers get day time jobs. And have to squat in the houses of the recently reaped. It’s pretty good.

Or I could talk about the karaoke contest I went to the other week that had Travis, the lead singer of Gym Class Heroes, and John Norris from MTV judging. And I could tell you how John Norris started clapping like a big gay monkey when a chubby shirtless man wearing butterfly wings, a white glove and a sweat band starting singing Michael Jackson.

My concentration level right now is at an all time low, with me reading a matter of pages out of my book while losing interest moments later, but totally still wanting to read the book. Maybe that’s called insanity rather than inattentive?

Something shiny just shined. I have to go.

I’ve Had A Revelation

Every once in awhile I like to check my stat counter and find out who’s visiting and how they got here. In doing so tonight, I realized that everything this website represents could very well be taken in a whole different direction than I ever intended.

When browsing the links of how people got to this site, I noticed that one of them was www.gaydemon.com. Which obviously sounds like the perfect place anyone would want to be referenced from ever and not at all like the name of some freakishly costumed half naked gay man with horns and a phallic looking pitchfork dancing on a float and throwing out fruit flavored condoms at a gay pride event.

I hope this was specific enough for you.

So after seeing that my blog is listed under a directory of gay personal blogs, I scrolled down to see mine. Come To Find Out. With a url of johnsthing.blogspot.com.

Do any of you realize where I’m heading with this? This blog, based upon title and url alone, is so packed full of fat, ripe sexual innuendos, Jenna Jameson would choke and die.

So let me clarify this. The url is easy. I spent more time trying to come up with site names than I did formatting my resume. And every one I came up with was just absolute domain waste. So I settled on John’s Thing. Meaning nothing more than this ‘thing’ that I maintain that other people can enjoy at their leisure. And even that sounds fucking whorish.

‘Come To Find Out’ is a bit more personal. The original title of this blog, and I’m embarrassed to admit this, was ‘Attempted Prose and Perfect Nonsense’. No, seriously. You can ask Courtney, because I’m pretty sure I talked to her the moment I decided that this was in fact the best name ever for a blog and wasn’t an ounce ridiculous or effing dumb.

I was hanging out with Bridget, and she told me how our mutual friend, Aaron, took notice of this phrase I tend to use a bit. ‘Come to find out’. And that he laughs when he hears me say it. For example. Let’s say I’m trying some eggplant parmesan, and after my first bite, I say ‘Come to find out, this tastes like puke’. Or ‘Come to find out, Erin Esurance from the Esurance.com commercials is getting way too out of control’.

Do you see how this works? And sometimes, it even fits with the post title. Like, ‘Come to find out, I’ve had a revelation’. The phrase has absolutely nothing to do with anything sexual at all, even though when you would perhaps be browsing some sort of gay centered website you might think differently. As I did. When I was. You know. Browsing said website. The gay one.

Even knowing that my site was somewhere linked on GayDemon.com, when I saw it I thought ‘Oooh a dirty one’. I’m so dumb. And/or horny, apparently.