Have no fear. Come To Find Out is not sinking so easily.
Being the holiday season, I was a slave to the Baby Jesus and his money grubbing retail ways. Because we all know that Christmas means the love of presents, gift certificates, surly customers and returns on items you probably shouldn’t have bought anyway, because hey, your 16 year old neice probably wouldn’t look good in a lime green cable knit jump suit anyways, so why’d you buy it for her in the first place.
As soon as the dead skin is pumiced from my feet and I’m adequately hydrated with the proper beverages, you can bet your ass I’ll be back here. Until then, I’m going to soak in the tub and dream of the day I can legally carry a tazer. And successfully argue in court the phrase ‘Excuse me, but can you get me this size?’ is provocation enough to send thousands of volts coursing through another being’s body.
December 27, 2006 at 2:14 pm
OMG, retail at the holidays SUCKS. I comiserate with you, poor boy. Take good care of yourself…it’s the only thing for it.
December 28, 2006 at 8:29 pm
saweet! i was worried the family’s discovery might put an end to CTFO. enjoy the tub in the meantime.
January 3, 2007 at 12:56 am
YAY!
You forgot that a Christmas with retail means being able to multi task. Example, you can now say “no, those jeans don’t make you look fat” whilst thinking “if by fat you mean thin” and by “thin” I mean that “you held up a Dunkin Donuts on your way in, not for their money.”