I’m Man Enough To Admit It

I’ve been through a lot in my life.

I’ve endured the pains of being uprooted at the tender age of 8 to a brand new town because of the death of a grandfather.

I’ve suffered teasing and bullying throughout elementary and middle school, all because of the ‘New Kid’ syndrome.

I’ve witnessed my parent’s divorce, a none too pleasant or easy going process, and lasted through the resulting fall out.

And scattered throughout all of that, I’ve lost friends, felt pain, experienced depression and still stood my ground. Because of all of this, and more, I see myself as a strong willed, independent person with the strength to survive throughout anything. It’s all the harsh, painful negative moments in our lives that build our character. It strengthens us so that we can survive whatever is next in line to try to bring us down. So I know that from all these sad moments in my life, I am gaining a never ending amount of internal fortitude from which I can protect and foster myself.

Despite all of this, why is it that a one minute video can nearly shatter all the defenses I’ve set up for myself, making me fear September 21st more and more each day? And at the same time, make me feel as though a part of my soul would wither and die if I didn’t participate? Because watching Izzie curl up into the neck of dead Denny while being carried away by her ex-boyfriend right after seeing Sandra Oh rush to Isaiah Washington’s side while playing my new favorite Fray song is just more than I can emotionally handle.

Hello. My name is John. And Grey’s Anatomy makes me crumble into a weeping ball of jelly.

Where Thursdays go to feel better my ass.