Tommy off his Knockers

I am officially calling it, even though it may be a day or two late. On Saturday, June 25th, 2005, Tom Cruise has utterly lost his mind and entered the realm of the famous eccentric stars and has no plans on ever turning back.

Let me give you a little recap as to why I have labeled one of the world’s biggest stars as ‘off his rocker’.

First, let’s start with some of the small stuff. Cruise is a scientologist, which is a crazy religion created by a science fiction writer in the 1950’s named L. Ron Hubbard. The religion believes in dianetics, which is something along the lines of ‘I’ve got the clap. Soul, cleanse me’, which is another idea of the great L. Ron Hubbard. They also celebrate a bunch of holidays, such as L. Ron Hubbard’s birthday, the anniversary of the publishing of his book, Auditor’s Day, to celebrate auditors (someone who helps with the dianetics…so, I guess the person who helps get rid of your clap), and random other stuff. Because of this focus on the mind, they are opposed to many mind related drugs, such as Ritalin and other shit like that.

So, long story short, scientology is crazy shit made up by a sci-fi writer. PS…for more reading by Hubbard other than dianetic stuff, you can check out Mission Earth: Fortune of Fear, or the novel that prompted the incredible film Battlefield Earth. Please, call your local library and make sure there is a copy waiting for you.

Why do I go into this, you ask? Good question. Because Tommy is a Scientologist, he has made his opinions on certain subjects very vocal. Such as publicly speaking out against Brooke Shields by calling her irresponsible for taking drugs for postpartum depression. Needless to say, Brooke Shields harnessed her inner bitch and told Tom publicly to shove it by saying Tom should stick to saving the world from aliens and let women who are experiencing postpartum depression decide what treatment options are best for them.

It didn’t stop there, though. Last Friday, Tom went on the Today Show and had a full on freak out on the unsuspecting Matt Lauer. When Matt said he knows people who have benefited from different anti depressants, Tom said the following…

You don’t know the history of psychiatry. I do…Matt, Matt, you don’t even–you’re glib. You don’t even know what Ritalin is. If you start talking about chemical imbalance, you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories, Matt, OK? That’s what I’ve done.

and

Do you know what Aderol is? Do you know Ritalin? Do you know that Ritalin is a street drug? Do you understand that?…There is no such thing as a chemical imbalance.

Thank you, Tom, for your helpful words of wisdom, obviously based in nothing but the utmost firsthand experiences and academic support. Did I mention that Tom is a high school drop out?

It is not over yet, folks. Tom continues to play the crazy game in London, when a prank show used a fake mic to spray water into the War of the Worlds leading man’s face, arguably being the most amusing moment I have witnessed this summer.

Tom heartily disagreed.

At first, it looked as if Tom would laugh. But oh no, he turned into the angry, middle aged scientologist he truly is. He then began to call the man a jerk, ridicule him, and cause more of a scene than was originally existent. Click here if you want to read the article and see the video.

Finally, let’s just take a look at his love life. He moved from Mimi Rogers to Nicole Kidman to Penelope Cruz to Katie Holmes. Not only did he convince all of them to take scientology classes and convert while with him (not many stayed with the religion, though) but he is consistently moving onto younger and younger and younger women. We all know the relationship with Holmes won’t last. Especially since her agent is exchanging personal numbers with Cruise’s agent as we speak.

So, long story short…the once loved, adored and unchaperoned boy in his underwear has now turned into a freak religion crazed, craddle robbing, Brooke Shields hating, crazy like a bunny freak.

I bet its because he’s not out yet.

Small update…

If you would like to see other videos of Tom, such as him beating up Oprah on national television, or proclaiming his love to an entire audience in a very Norman Bates fashion, click on the respective links.